If you’re reading this article, you may be searching for answers to a
problem that’s eating you alive: pornography. If so, let me assure
you’re doing the right thing by getting help.
Pornography is more dangerous than you may realize. It isn’t just
about what you see. With each illicit image comes a destructive attitude
that lodges in your brain and saturates your thinking. Those attitudes seep
into your heart, polluting all your relationships—with your
spouse (if you’re married), your family, and your God. Solomon gives
this fatherly wisdom in Proverbs 4:23:
Guard your heart above all else,
for it determines the course of your life.
A pure heart flows with peace, contentment, and spiritual strength. But you
must “guard” your heart to keep it pure. Your eyes are the
gateway to your heart . . . so to “guard your heart above all
else,” you must shield your eyes. If you want peace, contentment, and
spiritual strength, you must shut off the sewer of sinful images. How?
The Bible gives the answer in one word: repentance.
To be free from the bondage of sexual sin, repent! I’m talking about
more than confession. To confess is to admit, to agree with God that it is
wrong. Repentance is a deliberate turning away from it, changing your mind,
removing all traces, relinquishing all connections—so that Christ
reigns supreme, as He longs and demands to.
Are you ready to do more than make promises, to make a real change? It
won’t be easy. In fact, this could be the hardest thing you’ll
ever do. If you’re serious about this, you need a strategy. Maybe I
can help with an A-B-C-D plan.
the impurity. Acknowledge the bondage. Acknowledge the involvement. See the
pornography industry for what it is—an abominable entity that preys
on the vulnerable, distorts God’s healthy design for sex, and
destroys innocence and beauty. Tell God your struggles . . . and
tell another person, someone you trust who can help you. The first step to
victory is an open admission of the battle.
all connections. Stop the cycle! Unless connections are broken, the pattern
of temptation, sin, and shame will keep repeating itself. Get rid of your
Internet, if that’s what it takes. At least, get a service that
filters the content that comes to your computer, phone, television, and any
other device you have. Get away from the pornography! Get rid of it!
You’ve got to stop looking at it. Whatever that takes, do it!
Now, the most powerful step,
your need. This is where a filtering program with an accountability feature
is so helpful. Find someone of the same gender whom you trust to talk to
about your problem, view your Internet usage, and help keep you clean. If
you’ve never been truly honest with another person before,
you’ll be amazed at how freeing it feels. Somebody who cares about
you is there for you, and you’re there for that person too.
to abstain. Say to yourself, “I have viewed my last pornographic
image. This is over forever.” Don’t just think it. Say it out
loud. Repeat it as often as necessary. For most users, pornography fills a
deep emotional need. That’s the reason it’s so hard to let go.
Identify that need, acknowledge it, and begin to meet it with something
positive. Read the Bible with a yearning to know Jesus more intimately. I
know, I know. That’s just what a pastor would say. I am a pastor, but
I say it because I know it’s true.
Let Scripture feed your soul. Let Jesus fill your emotional needs. Join a
small group at your church. Fill your time with activities that are good
for you—exercise, enriching hobbies, community service, dates with
your spouse, engaging books. Stop indulging in sin, and start investing in life.
A final word: Depending on the severity of the problem, you may need a
professional counselor and/or a recovery group to help you break through.
Reach out. You will not regret it.
If you need encouragement, call our Biblical Counseling phone line at
1-469-535-8397. We have ministers on staff who can listen, answer
questions, recommend resources, pray with you, and help you plan a course
toward healing. Our Biblical Counseling phone line is answered Monday
through Thursday, 8:00 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. central standard time.
Thanks for reading this article and for taking it seriously. With
God’s strength and the support of some friends, you can conquer this
problem. You really can.