Parenting: From Surviving to Thriving

Parenting is often described as the hardest job you’ll ever love. In this series, Pastor Chuck Swindoll moves past the “survival mode” of just getting through the day and offers a biblical vision for helping children thrive. By focusing on the unique “bent” of each child and the essential role of parental character, these messages provide practical wisdom for building a home defined by grace rather than constant friction.

---

Message 1: The Best-Kept Secret of Wise Parenting

Overview: Pastor Chuck Swindoll reveals that the foundation of successful parenting is not a set of techniques, but the character and spiritual health of the parent. This message explores the “secret” that children are more likely to follow our footsteps than our words. It emphasizes that a parent’s primary responsibility is their own walk with God, which creates a natural environment for children to thrive.

• Key Fact: The most effective tool in parenting is personal authenticity; children are experts at detecting the gap between what a parent says and what a parent does.
• Scripture Reference: Psalm 127; 128

Message 2: Understanding How Your Child Was Made

Overview: Every child is born with a unique “bent”—a set of natural inclinations, strengths, and weaknesses. This message focuses on the biblical mandate to “train up a child in the way he should go,” which Chuck explains means training a child according to their individual design rather than forcing them into a pre-determined mold.

• Key Fact: Parenting is not a “cookie-cutter” process; wise parents act as students of their children to discover how God has uniquely wired them.
• Scripture Reference: Proverbs 22:6

Message 3: Establishing a Life of Self-Control

Overview: In a world of instant gratification, teaching a child self-control is essential for their future success and spiritual maturity. Chuck discusses the difference between punishment and discipline, explaining that the ultimate goal of parental discipline is to move a child from external control to internal self-government.

• Key Fact: Discipline should always be administered in love with the goal of restoration, never in a fit of parental rage.
• Scripture Reference: Proverbs 13:24; 22:15; 23:13–14

Message 4: Cultivating a Life of Self-Worth

Overview: A child’s sense of value is largely shaped by the “mirror” provided by their parents. This message examines how to build a healthy, biblical sense of self-worth in children—not based on pride, but on their identity as a person created in the image of God and deeply loved by their family.

• Key Fact: Comparison is the enemy of self-worth; parents must celebrate a child’s unique identity to protect them from the trap of seeking worldly validation.
• Scripture Reference: Psalm 139:13–16

Message 5: Secret Struggles . . . Family Troubles

Overview: No family is immune to conflict or hidden dysfunction. Chuck addresses the “secret” struggles that can tear families apart, such as hypocrisy, favoritism, and unresolved anger. This message provides a biblical framework for bringing these issues into the light to find healing and grace.

• Key Fact: What remains hidden in a family’s history often manifests as behavioral or emotional trouble in the next generation.
• Scripture Reference: Genesis 27:1–41 (The story of Isaac, Rebekah, Jacob, and Esau)

Message 6: From Resentment to Rebellion

Overview: This sermon explores the dangerous progression from suppressed resentment to outward rebellion. Chuck identifies the “parental provocations” that often lead children to anger and provides practical advice on how to de-escalate tension and rebuild trust before a child reaches the point of total defiance.

• Key Fact: Rebellion is often the “fruit” of a deeper “root” of resentment caused by unfair treatment or a lack of emotional connection.
• Scripture Reference: Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21

Message 7: Affirming and Encouraging Words to Parents

Overview: Parenting is one of the most exhausting roles in life. Chuck takes a moment to offer a “cup of cold water” to weary parents. This message focuses on the power of encouragement, reminding parents of the eternal significance of their work and the promise of God’s grace when they feel inadequate.

• Key Fact: Encouragement is the “oxygen” of the soul; parents need it just as much as children do.
• Scripture Reference: 1 Thessalonians 5:11; Hebrews 10:24–25

Message 8: Confronting the “Older Brother Attitudes”

Overview: Using the Parable of the Prodigal Son, Chuck examines the subtle but destructive nature of legalism and self-righteousness within the home. This message warns parents against fostering an environment of “older brother” perfectionism that leaves no room for grace or the celebration of repentance.

• Key Fact: A home without grace creates “rule-followers” who are spiritually cold and judgmental toward others.
• Scripture Reference: Luke 15:11–32

Message 9: Increasing the Priority of Your Family

Overview: In a fast-paced society, the family is often sacrificed on the altar of career or social status. Chuck challenges parents to re-evaluate their calendars and priorities. This message offers a roadmap for putting the family back at the center of the home and making intentional memories.

• Key Fact: You cannot “microwavve” a relationship; deep family bonds require the slow-cooker method of consistent, quality time.
• Scripture Reference: Deuteronomy 6:4–9

Message 10: Restoring Relationships After You’ve Blown It

Overview: Perfection is not the goal of parenting; faithfulness and humility are. Chuck addresses the reality that all parents make mistakes. This message explains the biblical process of confession and seeking forgiveness from our children to restore broken bridges.

• Key Fact: Admitting you are wrong to your child does not undermine your authority; it increases your respect and models biblical humility.
• Scripture Reference: James 5:16; Matthew 5:23–24

Message 11: When God’s Gift Comes Specially Wrapped

Overview: This sensitive and powerful message addresses the unique journey of parenting children with special needs or “different” challenges. Chuck offers biblical comfort and perspective, viewing these children not as “mistakes,” but as specially wrapped gifts from God that require a special kind of grace.

• Key Fact: God often uses the challenges of “special” parenting to refine the parents’ faith and display His glory in unique ways.
• Scripture Reference: John 9:1–7; 2 Corinthians 12:9–10

Message 12: Final Words to Families Then and Now

Overview: Chuck concludes the series by summarizing the core pillars of a thriving family: love, laughter, and a legacy of faith. He offers a final charge to parents to stay the course, reminding them that their investment in their children is the only thing they can truly leave behind for eternity.

• Key Fact: A thriving family is built on the “three L’s”—Love, Laughter, and Liberty in Christ.
• Scripture Reference: Joshua 24:14–15; 2 Timothy 1:5