The Church: A Safe Place to Hurt

By Pastor Chuck Swindoll

Everybody hurts. But not everybody lives such honest and vulnerable lives that they admit the pain. Why? Because, most often, there isn’t a safe place to do so. The church should be that place (second only to the home). Regrettably, it isn’t.

I heard of a research study where psychologists discovered the top three places where average people “fake it.”

We tend to put on airs when we visit the lobby of a fancy hotel.
We typically fake our true feelings alongside the salesperson at a new-car showroom.
Can you guess the third place we wear a mask? That’s right. In church!

Tragically, in church where authenticity should be modeled, we’ll paint on the phony smiles, slap backs, and shake hands, all the while masking what’s inside our hearts.

In reality . . . we’re hurting.

Everybody Hurts—Including Pastors

I’ve often said that if you could know the pain in the lives of those sitting in front and behind you in church, you’d be shocked. Everybody hurts. We’ve all been wounded . . . we’re all bleeding within.

Including the one behind the pulpit.

Part of what makes a church magnetic is when Christians aren’t afraid to live transparent lives with one another. Paul’s challenge to Timothy pushes past the façade and reminds us to live in reality: “Suffer hardship with me, as a good soldier of Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 2:3 NASB). I like the simplicity of Paul’s words . . . though they are not simple to live.

In the original language, the phrase, “Suffer hardship with me,” translates a single verb that means, “to endure the same kind of suffering as others.”

It’s not a command we can obey on our own.
It requires the application of a principle: When tested, the body pulls closer together.

How wonderful it is when this actually occurs! See the word with in the verse? That’s what makes a church so attractive. When one hurts, we all hurt.

Pain in the Church and in the World

It’s like what occurred in the early church. Who would have ever thought so many Christians would have been martyred in those days?

Because of the persecution, the church pressed right on.
Because they suffered together, their ranks grew.

You don’t find that in the world’s system. When testing comes, folks usually scatter like rats on a sinking ship; you’re on your own!

There’s competition.
There’s envy.
There’s hypocrisy.

But in the church? Grace pulls us together. It’s about considering others more important than ourselves. When someone is going through a tough time, a phone call is made. Somebody shows up at the door. Another brings a bag of groceries . . . sometimes a hot meal.

We cannot endure hardship with someone from a distance. In a contagious church, everybody hurts.

Because nobody hurts or heals alone.

About the author

Pastor Chuck Swindoll

Pastor Charles R. Swindoll has devoted his life to the accurate, practical teaching and application of God’s Word. He is the founding pastor of Stonebriar Community Church in Frisco, Texas, but Chuck’s listening audience extends far beyond a local church body. As a leading program in Christian broadcasting since 1979, Insight for Living airs around the world. Chuck’s leadership as president and now chancellor emeritus at Dallas Theological Seminary has helped prepare and equip a new generation of men and women for ministry.

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