Marks of a Mentor: Addressing Weakness

By Pastor Chuck Swindoll

Last week I shared with you one of the marks of a mentor that we all enjoy: affirming others with trust. But there’s another side of the coin that’s just as important. Good mentors also address weaknesses. For example:

Meanwhile, a Jew named Apollos, an eloquent speaker who knew the Scriptures well, had arrived in Ephesus from Alexandria in Egypt. He had been taught the way of the Lord, and he taught others about Jesus with an enthusiastic spiritand with accuracy. However, he knew only about John’s baptism. When Priscilla and Aquila heard him preaching boldly in the synagogue, they took him aside and explained the way of God even more accurately. (Acts 18:24–26)

When Aquilla and Priscilla heard Apollos preach, they detected some things lacking. There was nothing in Apollos’s words about the work of the Spirit. No mention of the body of Christ . . . the Spirit-filled life . . . how Christians can live as conquerors . . . nothing. They only heard about the baptism of John and the ministry of Jesus. That’s all Apollos knew. Accurate . . . but incomplete.

A discerning mentor addresses weaknesses that need to be strengthened and wrongs that need to be corrected. That’s one of the greatest benefits of good mentors. They won’t let us get away with staying like we are. They won’t let us keep making the same mistakes over and over. They love us too much.

Mentors spot flaws and, like Aquilla and Priscilla, they don’t embarrass us publicly. They don’t nail us on the spot. But behind closed doors they say, “I need to mention something I notice that you do . . . or that you don’t do.” They care, because they’re discerning. They spot the area of need, and they put their finger on it like on a nerve.

The benefits? Reproof causes the one being mentored to remain teachable and accountable. Both are important. But it’s also vital that when we are the ones doing the reproving, we make sure we also are loving. Paul said it well:

Never speak harshly to an older man, but appeal to him respectfully as you would to your own father. Talk to younger men as you would to your own brothers. Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters. (1 Timothy 5:1–2)

I also admire Apollos’s response. He listened to them. One of the best things we can do when someone corrects us is to pay attention to their corrections. Do you do that?

I hope that your biblical knowledge has made you more approachable and less untouchable. Mentors have nothing to gain by correcting us. We have everything to gain. We are better people if we take reproofs personally. (Sounds like a proverb, doesn’t it?) I could name some corrections my mentors gave that stung me to my core. And you know what? I knew they were right. I felt a little humiliated, but they turned it around into something positive: “Once you correct this, you’ll be even more effective.” It was true.

As mentors, we should be good at addressing weaknesses—at giving reproof. We should also be good at receiving it. It makes you a better pastor.

For that matter, it also makes you a better husband and father.

About the author

Pastor Chuck Swindoll

Pastor Charles R. Swindoll has devoted his life to the accurate, practical teaching and application of God’s Word. He is the founding pastor of Stonebriar Community Church in Frisco, Texas, but Chuck’s listening audience extends far beyond a local church body. As a leading program in Christian broadcasting since 1979, Insight for Living airs around the world. Chuck’s leadership as president and now chancellor emeritus at Dallas Theological Seminary has helped prepare and equip a new generation of men and women for ministry.

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